Isn’t it funny, how when you are really looking forward to something, the day drags on and on and on. But when you’re terrified of doing something, you barely have enough time to be anxious. The day slips away so quickly that you never got out of the house. Why is it that when you are thrilled about one thing, nothing else is thrilling? And when you’re dreading something…. there is never anything else to dread.
Some people say that when you’re falling, the world seems to slow. You see everything around you. The fear builds as you steadily get closer to the ground. But in reality, that doesn’t happen. A fall is so fast that you don’t have time to think anything, much less be afraid. It just happens. And usually, people aren’t scared after the fact, they’re scared in the midst of the action. So next time you hear someone say they took a fall, and they were so scared….. Think again.
The hallways are dark
The stairs creak
The house moans
The wind whistles
The faucet drips
The curtains billow
Then sharp as a nail
The doorbell rings
I have this bad habit of not paying attention in class. There’s this thing I do that I like to call “Kiley’s Chain”. It’s where I’m thinking about one thing, and that reminds me of another thing. This repeats over and over again, and when I’m finished, I end with the same thing I started with. Having a short-attention span will give you things like this.
At first, I started this website mainly to help others learn how to read and write, and to share my stories. But as it grows, I realize that it has become a way for me to express myself. I love to write and I hope it shows. And to all of you out there who visit regularly, thank you so much for being there. I hope ICannotLiveWithoutBooks.com has inspired you as much as it has inspired me.
Ever have one of those days where you are so exhausted you don’t pay attention at all? You’re so tired that you’ve slumped over on to your desk about 50 times? Yeah, you have, because all of us have. It’s just one of those things that about every human being on the planet has experienced at some point in their lives. Sort of like popping bubble wrap, and jumping up and down from pure delight.
Today was one of those days where I felt vulnerable and sensitive and just flat out tired. Because I was. I hate to say this, but on days like today I don’t care what the heck else is going on in my life. All I know is that I want to get home and collapse in my bed. And as I write this I know that almost every single one of you out there will agree. But if you find the one person who doesn’t, give me a call.
I have a friend who recently got involved in a bad bike accident. She is now in a wheel chair, and may be for the next three months. Today was her third day back at school since the accident. But when we all went outside, her wheelchair hit a crack, and she fell right out. She landed right on her broken leg. Wow. She is an amazingly brave 10 year old.
Also, remember a few posts back how I mentioned the make-your-own bracelets? Well, if I thought this whole thing would blow over… I was wrong. It’s this huge craze. For my birthday, I got a couple of the rubber bands. I never realized how much I enjoy being part of the group until now.
Today, something very interesting happened. I play softball, and sometimes my coach has me pitch. I was walking everyone. But then I realized that I didn’t care. I wasn’t thinking about how I looked, how I was pitching, or what other people thought of me, because for some reason I didn’t care. I always care. It was kind of nice taking a turn on the other side.
Most of you don’t get to experience the fun of sharing a birthday with someone you know. I know, it seems like no big deal. That’s what I thought. Until I met Mia*. She and I are very close, and we share a birthday. We make cards for each other, make homemade gifts, and say funny things like, “5 days left… What, what!” I love knowing someone who shares my birthday. Eleven years ago, two little girls were born on October 7. On opposite sides of the country, neither knew how close they would come to be in a mere 8 years.
*name is changed
There is this big new fashion craze going on at my school. They’re these trendy new bracelets that you make yourself. At first I didn’t think I wanted one, mainly because I don’t like jewelry. It’s just not my thing. But finally, I let my friend make me one. Even though I said I was just going to hang it from my backpack, I ended up wearing it. It still felt like the same old, non-girly me. I was really excited, but even more excited when I came home and my mom raved about how she loved it. So, the lesson I learned today is, don’t be afraid to try on the latest trend. It might be more you than you think.